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When Questions Feel Like Criticism (And What to Do About It)
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Friend... Have you ever asked a simple question at work, only to have your manager or coworker react defensively—like you’ve just questioned their entire existence? Maybe you’ve been on the other side, feeling like every question is a subtle jab at your competence. This dynamic is more common than we talk about, and it often stems from past workplace trauma. If someone has spent years under manipulative leadership, where questions were used as traps or disguised critiques, they might struggle to see curiosity as anything but a challenge. And if trust has never been part of their professional (or personal) experience, it makes sense that they’d brace for impact anytime someone asks, “Why do we do it this way?” But here’s the thing: Questions are not critiques. They’re opportunities. Opportunities to clarify, to improve, to collaborate. When we shut down questions, we’re not just protecting our ego—we’re limiting what’s possible. If You Struggle With Feeling QuestionedIf questions immediately put you on the defensive, try this:
If You Have a Manager or Coworker Who Reacts Poorly to Questions
Workplace culture improves when we stop mistaking curiosity for critique. If you’re navigating this dynamic at work, hit reply and tell me how you’ve handled it—I’d love to hear. Talk soon, Click here to Suggest a Topic Support my work. Make a difference today! Leave a tip here! |
Tramelle w/ TDJ Consulting
I’m a career planning enthusiast dedicated to helping you overcome obstacles and create strategies that lead you to roles where you’re valued, challenged, and paid what you’re worth. Join my email community!
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